Y Betti Galws, Cwmaman

Glenn Gouldify a Grey Aberdare

Granted One Magic wish for Aberdare Town… imagine an outdoor concert in the middle of Aberdare town with pianist Glenn Gould.

Allegro con brio. Cadenza by Canadian Pianist Glenn Gould.

Ludwig van Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 1 in C major, op. 15

‘Neon’ Green Street Methodist Church, Aberdare

What if… They painted all these gloomy Chapels with something bright and wonderful ?

Here is a jammed-up version of Green Street Methodist Chapel, Aberdare.

Roy Noble Statue

The friendly sing-song voice of Roy Noble may become a feature of Aberdare town if campaigners are given permission to erect an innovative multimedia statue in Market Street.

Local campaign group Up Aberdare! are co-ordinating the efforts to bring a new landmark to Aberdare town centre marking the contribution Roy Noble has made to Aberdare and to comedy. Locals have already dubbed the statue project ‘Roy Noble’s Erection’.

At a recent public meeting a draft design for the statue was unveiled and a spokesperson for Up Aberdare! claimed “this is the most advanced multimedia statue of its kind in the world. It comes with a full-spectrum infrared remote control system. The head on the statue can be programmed to express over two different facial gestures… sadness and happiness.”

“Roy Noble the Statue – has a poly-sensory feedback system. It can pick up verbal feedback from passers-by as well as visual feedback. And if you kick or touch the statue, it can also react. Roy the Statue is not going to be stiff… he’s fun.”

“Roy Noble the Statue will be manufactured within an ISO9000 factory… in Turkmenistan. He will be fully bi-lingual capable of broadcasting in English and Welsh. The Welsh Language Board have been very supportive and their colleagues in the Welsh Language Society have given their ‘blessing’.”

“We aim to embed a camera in every crack and crevice of Roy Noble the Statue… from his toes to his toupe. We can then cast a flow of images to a variety of audiences… broadcast on mainstream television like the BBC or narrowcast on the Web to a select audience.”

“Our sound engineers have succeeded in perfectly replicating the chirpy chappy sound of Roy Noble… the one we’re all very familiar with. He – or rather IT – can speak, tell jokes, sing songs, read poetry, give a weather forecast, make a traffic announcement, even give a firm verbal warning to any drunken revellers in Market Street that might try to relieve themselves on him.”

“Don’t be fooled by that cheeky charm of Roy Noble… behind that genial fascade lies the mind of Wales’ greatest comic genius. Roy Noble the Statue will try – we can but try! – to reach the same lofty heights of humour. Research scientists at Cardiff University’s Sociology Department have produced a Welsh comedy algorithm after decades of research into this esoteric subject. This new algorithm will be at the heart of the art we hope Roy Noble the Statue will manufacture in Market Street, Aberdare. ”

“We believe in ‘comedy for the masses’ and who better than Roy Noble to bring mirth directly into the Valleys town of Aberdare,” said Up Aberdare! “There is no manufacturing industry left worthy of the name in Cynon Valley. It’s all been outsourced. We’ve been downsized. We can but craft a bit of comedy to cheer ourselves”.

Rhondda Cynon Taff Council Leader Rusty Roberts said : “It looks good, bach. Think of all those stinking rich Jap tourists we could bring to Aberdare. They do love those techno gizmo thingies, yes. And of course we could use it to sell the Council and the Party… err… you didn’t record that bit did you, bach ? I mean we could use it to market Rhondda Cynon Taff to potential investors.”

Up Aberdare! ended the public meeting by praising Roy Noble’s contribution to comedy and his sheer versatility as a performer.